Moving On


I’m on the road headed towards California. My sister and and her friend are there in L.A. My husband passed away a week ago after a long illness.I feel like there is no reason for me to stay in Illinois any longer  after losing him.After his burial I just packed up all my things and put them in my truck. I paid someone to take care of the house and I got in my car and headed east. For a long time, I just drove in silence. I was thinking about my husband and the tears finally started falling down my face. I need to get away from it all,take some time to grieve alone. I had to use the bathroom after a while. I got off the highway at the exit to use the facilities. I pulled into a gas station and got out of my truck. I went inside and headed straight to the bathroom.Less than 5 minutes later I came out disgusted because It smelled  bad in there. I told myself ” No more fluids until I get to L.A.!” I hurried out, got into my car, and drove off. I quickly found the entrance to the highway and got  back on.
I’ve been driving for a few hours so far and I still  had  sometime to go. I turned on my radio and found a station that played soft music. The music got me crying again-but I thought it was theraputic so I didn’t change the station. I got to thinking again-this time about what it would be like if I had kids.It hurts me to be alone so I can just imagine them hurt by the loss of their father. What if I had to tell them? The pain would be even bigger than It is right now! I wiped away the tears that were still falling and turned the music up. I guess I was going faster than I thought because I started to see signs that told me to stay in the left lane to get to where I was going(L.A). I had about two more hours before I would get there. I wondered what my hosts had in store for me. Anything is better than staying back at home right now! I just drove and and listened to music for a while. Then I saw an exit for L.A. I slowed down a little and pulled off the highway when it was safe to.A half hour later I was pulling into my sister’s driveway and honking my horn. She came running out of the house to give me a big hug. I then pulled back and looked at my sister. She looked great! She looked at me  and said  “I’m sorry you have to go through this!”She then hugged me again. My sister’s friend came out of the house and introduced herself to me. She said ” We’re here to help you through the healing process.” I smiled and said “The healing process began for me on the road here.” My sister and her friend exchanged glances. I jumped in and said ” I don’t know if I’ll ever go back home.” I stepped between them and and said “I know you two will help me make the decision when I’m ready.” We all laughed and my sister started pushing me towards the front door of the house.” Let’s get you situated here.” she said. I went inside to rest and continue my healing process.My sister’s  friend went  in right behind me.
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