years later-My Idea of the Joyce Carol Oats story


I had a rough night last night. I hardly got any sleep at all.The dreams are still coming even though they gave me medication to help me sleep. The doctor said that the pills weren’t going to work right away- I guess they need to build up in my system. I think I may go nuts before the drugs start to kick in like the doctor said. I have been doing other things too, to try and keep my mind off those days. I have been running a lot. Sometimes I run for too long and my feet start to hurt. I’m just trying to chase the demons away! I have been going to group therapy, but I am unable to say anything.I’m afraid something is going to happen if I talk. I hope with prayer that I’ll eventually get better. I want to shake this cloud hanging over my head and get the sun shining like it used to. What happened to me was not my fault. I’m angry- so angry with myself for believing that it is! Will everybody hate me if I start talking about what happened to me?

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